Feelings

I have been training for 4 months now and here I am less than 5 days away from running a marathon.  Remember, I'm not a runner...or at least I wasn't for the last 32 of 33 years of my life.  It still sounds weird to hear that word spoken in reference to me.  I didn't even routinely exercise most of my life, haha. 

I sit writing this with such mixed emotion.  Sometimes I feel prepared and sometimes I think surely I could have done more training.  Sometimes I feel nervous.  Sometimes I feel overwhelmed.  Sometimes I forget about the race and dream about the big family picnic afterwards (that being Erie and Pittsburgh family..because all of our friends are like family to us).  What can I say, I love family, friends, and food!  Several times a day I think about whether I should wear shorts or capris if it's 50 degrees at the start of the race...yes, I obsess over the weather which is out of my control anyway.  I feel excitement about spending 4 hours with God praying for all my supporters.  I feel blessed to have such a supportive family, friends, and church.  I feel fortunate for being chosen to do this.  I wonder how nervous I'll be at the starting line and how many times I will have to pee before it starts :)  Will I sleep the night before?  Will I even be good company at the picnic that I'm so excited about or will I want to plant myself in a chair and sleep.  I wonder how many people I have encouraged in some way, shape or form throughout this process.

I feel very excited about finally seeing this goal through to the end...that being the finish line.  In fact, I frequently think about what I will feel at that moment.  Will I be proud?  Will I be happy?  Will I cry?  Will I hurt so bad I won't want to be near anyone?  Will I ever be able to walk normal after such a run?  Will I be tired or will I get one last rush of "I did it" adrenaline before crashing?  Will I be hungry or ready to puke?  Hey, I'm not ruling anything out!  The one thing I know for sure is I'll be thanking God for getting me across that finish line!

Most of all, I expect to feel blessed to know a God of such infinite wonder and to see the results of submission and faithfulness to His will!

Acts 20:24
"I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me- the task of testifying to the good news of God's grace."